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Day 474 – 1yr 3mths+ – rant. 

The disgusted mrt passenger

this morning i had to Go for my weekly saturday morning japanese class in town. So i took the train and got a seat next to the priority seat(seat for needy passengers). 

At a certain stop came a women probably in her 50s. She was hurriedly looking for a seat and was probably relieved to find an empty one beside me. She sat down and i felt her heave a sigh of relief. But then she turned and saw me, probably my oozy crusty left cheek and probably felt disgusted. She kept turning to stare at me(i didnt turn to look but i could feel it). She was probably panicking cos she keep turning. And i turned to see her expression (if any) and if she was really looking and indeed! Shes looking. And then she touched her own left cheek while i glanced at her. She probably make a tsk and continue to turn. 

When i saw that shes bothered by my crusty cheek, I was practically rolling my eyes all the way 180, 360 degrees upside down, inside out and falling off inside my eye socket. WTF, is there anything wrong? Its not like im touching her or anything. Does she have to keep staring and act panicky? 

I know. I should not let her actions affect me. Afterall, she did not ask(thankfully) or wanted me to respond to her in anyway. But anyway, i turned to her and gave my UBER STINKY, BLACK, EYE ROLLING FACE. And turned back to look straight ahead.

I didnt care if she read my face right nor did i care about her reaction. After afew more minutes of panic, head turn, she stood up and held onto the pole. I figured shes disgusted by my ooze crusty cheek to want to sit beside me. 

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Also went to see the tcm today after a week hiatus and back from taiwan. Im in a bad state i feel. Becos of the oozing crusty cheek and shit from people i get. And my overly concerned naggy parents. 

Flares on visible skin really takes a toll emotionally on top of physically skin wise. All the extra stress you gotta handle. Its easy to say to disregard them, but when you get machinegun-question-firing-concerned parents, that may be another thing altogether. I wonder if my cheek was as bad as my ankle, would people on the train keep an arms distance from me? 

I feel like i need to get my shit together. Should i brave the shit flare on my cheeks and try to work fulltime again? Jo is running out of money and doesnt feel like things will improve in the short run. Yet i want 2 weeks or so for the skin to calm down alittle. But theres no guarantee when it will truly be calm. Sigh.

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Random – things that get me through

Just a random post on things that will give me hope again. There is many times during TSW that we will need some kind of hope and happiness.

Before TSW, i have been reading much about happiness and stuff. Why? I didnt really know what to do in life. I felt my accounting job is not what i am “passionate” about. 

Being grateful is one way to feel happier.

And i want to be grateful for having these:

  • I have tissue paper ready to wipe my tears
  • I have an ipad mini to keep me entertained
  • I have acess to the internet and ITSAN.
  • There are people who went through TSW hell and survived it and blogged their progress to motivate us. 🙂 *HANG IN THERE JO, YOU TOO WILL MAKE IT!*

Okay, back to surfing the web.