YES I SURVIVED TREATMENT NIGHT. Lol. This never gets old. I always consider it a feat to survive it. It just feels like the pit after each treatment can be deep and unpredictable.
But i guess last night wasnt the worst. Sure, i woke up with my right cheek fully crusted. Scratched my neck. Tissued my ear.. Thankfully i could shower and clean them all.
I had a nice chat with my sister in the evening. Idk.. its comforting and feels great to be conversing with someone. I guess im experiencing cabin fever?
Im blue again today. Whhyyyy???
I feel like im flaring. Im getting spots on my back, on my thighs and arms! It feels like my itchy scalp is probably also oozing. And the insides of my elbows.. *screams* Ugh. I’ve been thinking what happened. Stress probably?
This morning my left cheek isnt super crusty, but ugh, im just tired of my left ear… I tried to clean it with saline. Then cleaned the cheek and tzone. I dont know why im super blue today compared to other days this week. WHY? Is my gut bacteria not in equilibrium? But i ate probiotics and im currently not on antibiotics..
I think tomorrow im not gonna buy woobbee bubble tea. I think caffeine isnt that good for me at the moment. I need to chill my nerves. I might still dropby to get a waffle tho…
I know i can be super grateful that my face has tumbled back into full blown bad bacteria infection from this break in antibiotics. I dont know. I even have problems waking up in the morning. It takes so much to get out of bed when im awake, then so much to step into the shower.
I received Vincent’s Joomo body wash and liposomal magnesium. Bad timing.. Should i try the magnesium tonight? Hmm..
- inside elbows (right mainly, left has a small patch)
- Base of neck slightly
- Chest getting rough and bumps
- Lower back rough and bumps
- Thighs spots rough and bumps
- Left calves 3 small spots and 1 of them big oozer. They are red and raised
- Right calves outside 2 spots, sometimes dry
- Left sole of feet spot
- Right sole of feet spot and 1 spot at ankle cracked
- Right ankle 1 persistent oozing raw spot
- Face – Cheeks(right is more crusty than left), tzone
- Left ear – very raw
- Right ear – ear lobe problematic
- Neck – 1 spot red raised and oozy
But well.. today’s small win is that i washed and cleaned 3 bags of celery. WAY TO GO JO! I guess i try to do stuff when my fingers are less raw.
I feel like im losing it. I know i have alot to be grateful about but i dont know why im feeling this way. I have been taking my probiotics too tho. Is it the PTSD? The post menses blues?? Gut bacteria disporia? I feel like having to tape a saline water bottle to my tzone before i sleep is kinda triggering me.
Anyway i woke up and i scratched my left ear again. No surprise. And after shower i also scratched it while im drying off. UGH HELPPPPP. I really have no idea how to properly take care of my fking ear. Im so defeated, i feel.
I also feel my left ear is more oozy than last week. Especially the other side. Well Jay did zap the other side last treatment.
I woke up today and my left cheek is quite clear. Its a great feeling.
I chosed to shower today. I have been asking Jay if i can shower more frequently for ages, i just didnt dare to do it, fearing it will disrupt my face’s healing. I scratched abit while in the shower. It feels too orgasmic. I felt like i did damage to my face while in the shower but ugh, too late for regrets.
I ordered ninefresh today again, with jasmine green tea. Food is soothing for me. Its bad that i rely on food to sooth myself. I feel like caffeine is bad for me. Ugh i just wanna heal. Will i be issued antibiotics next week??
Also, my tzone feels so itchy today. ARGH. And i feel like my neck and chest is getting bumpy and starting to get itchy.
My last doxycycline antibiotics ended on thursday. And today is saturday. I woke up today with golden crust on my face. I think it was not that bad tbh. Left cheek crusting was sparse.
To be honest, there is alot that i can be thankful for. Its just afew weeks ago that my face was so heavy crusted and that around my mouth too, and i couldnt eat properly. Now i can eat properly and make all kind of facial expressions, i should be super thankful that im out of that rut right? Its so easy to forget the journey and how far you have come. You just want more and more!
I am feeling kinda terrible because the face and ear is kinda wet. The weather is rainy, which doesnt help much. But i complain when its too sunny and hot. and complain too when its gloomy and rainy. What do you want, Jo?! @#$ IKR. Bummer.
I feel like i might be flaring? I notice that im getting more spots on my legs and the patch on my right elbow has been getting worse. Is it the stress from game raiding past week? Hmmm. I admit that when im into it, i get very hardcore. Theres no middle ground for it. Either you go hard at it or nah. When you game, you just get so tensed and stressed, you cant be like, “i just wanna get 50% stressed”. Doesnt happen.
The situation with my ear is pretty terrible. And i gotta say my sleep clock too. Its terrible… I feel like im having night sleeping anxiety. I hate it when it gets dark and its about time to sleep (Again). It gives me anxiety. I worry about scratching my ears raw, as i have done like SOO OFTEN. As much as i try to stop myself, i cant. I just want to like rub it real hard to get rid of that itch and then regret it as it recovers. My right ear is actually better (less the ear lobe) and left ear is totally terrible. Its like a light light scratch could send it bleeding.
I realised that i skipped last week’s post. TBH #15 was pretty good. Jay was saying that #15, my skin was the best since i started with SHC. Lmao. I guess the antibiotics clindamycin was working its wonders. Last week was actually quite good while i am on that. And afew days after treatment, there were quite abit of pimples. This is new. considering most days i just get alot of ooze. Jay also said during treatment that im probably not gonna ooze alot. Which was true. I slept and woke up, theres ooze on my face but its okay. Washed em off in the shower in the morning. TBH i felt great after #15 because Jay’s feedback was so positive. Really felt a rock was lifted off me hearing it.
But last week i couldnt sleep well and kinda felt jittery? I think i’ve been having too much caffeine. And also last week i could finally regain some normalcy? I wore my specs and gamed for reals. I told my sister that i felt slightly normal again.
Also last week i cheated too much. Ate 2 fried spicy drumlets, a small portion of KFC drumstick and my body doesnt agree with me. My tongue was in pain SO MUCH despite spamming coconut water. Today its slightly better. At least i could lift and move it. Past few days it was so painful i could hardly talk. It still hurts when i talk today tho.
So today i went for treatment and Jay wants me to stop the antibiotics for abit. FINGERS CROSSED THAT MY CONDITION DOESNT DIP. But anyway i think imma gonna see more ooze. My cheeks are way better the last 2 weeks, my face is good, elastic, i can make all kinds of expressions without feeling the ooze/crust pull on my face. Even the jawline is oozing less. I get spots of pimples tho. My doxycycline is gonna finish the day after tomorrow. Ugh. Fingers crossed. I feel like my right cheek is still kinda bad, but not as bad as before.
Today Jay also said hes using max laser power on my face. IDK whats gonna happen. It does feel like my face is more fragile than before after treatment. But idk if its a real feeling or that im just extra sensitive.
So i’ve taken 5 days of the new antibiotic clindamycin and this afternoon i went back to the GP at clementi as she has requested, for her to take a look at my skin..
I didnt think anything drastic has changed since my last visit. I went back anyways and told her frankly that i didnt think it will clear in 5 days. But anyway i told her i felt better this week since my cheeks kinda ooze less. I think it oozed alittle less. Not by alot but.. i think its abit less. So she gave me another 5 days worth of antibiotics. I think this would be my last visit already. She said that its unlikely that its an infection since i’ve been on antibiotics for soooo long. I feel like i agree. She was saying steriods will dry it all up. I agree. Miracle steroids. But i dont want it. She was saying the patch on my forehead is probably a mix of eczema. Because eczema also oozes. This visit she was saying i should apply desowen(steroids) on my face. I remb previous visits she said i should not :S This time she said desowen should be fine. But anyways, i dont have desowen. Ugh. I dont know whats gonna happen after i finish my antibiotics. I probably still need them but where do i find them?
I’ve been so grateful that this 2 weeks? that my skin around my mouth is slightly better and i can eat whatever i wanted and yawn and sneeze and make any facial expressions i wanted.
I actually am feeling abit bummed now. I wonder if its the microbes again? Do i need to up my probiotics again? I’ve been wondering what are the things i’ve been feeling for the past few days. Is it PMS cramps? My period’s been gone for 3months. I guess from stress and weightloss last 3 months. For the past 3 month where my face was so heavily crusted, i’ve been eating nothing but 2 meals a day and chicken or pork porridge. Its sad. I lost more than 3kg. I weighed myself last week? or so and found, wow, okay i’ve lost some weight.
Tomorrow’s treatment eve and i pray for another good treatment..
YES. I survived treatment night.
It did not ooze waterfall last night, because i think it only started at night. I observe that usually after treatment, the ooze is slightly different, theres ooze and some blood in the crust. But then sleep wise, i didnt sleep well at all. I couldnt sleep. Might be due to anxiety post treatment.. theres always the waterfall ooze PTSD. I was awake like 3am+ I found myself rubbing my left ear and had to sit up for abit. Then lie down again.
So when i woke up, the crust was not alot, which i felt great about. But then i ate breakfast and after that, it totally started to ooze alot. Got a shock, not gonna lie and decided to take a shower to wash it all off.
So i washed all the crust off. As Jay advises. I blasted the shower head in my face. Felt SO GOOD OMG. I feel way better after shower. Applied CRC & antibiotics cream, and its been good so far.
Then i tried to soak using saline. Im so surprised that it works wonders. So i soak this square of cotton pad with saline and stuck it on my tzone, that patch of oozing infected area. And after 5mins, it stopped oozing yellow! Im so surprised. Til now in the evening, it remains clear and no ooze! wow. I dont know if its the new antibiotics that worked or that saline method did help it dry. Also, i tried this method again on the eyelid and beside the tzone. Worked again.
Theres also this new patch above the left eye that oozed abit today. FML i think i spread the infection there -_- I felt something under the skin there for some time already, but it didnt ooze until today.
I am having so much trouble, trying not to touch my tzone & face. The infected areas legit are itchy and makes me wanna touch and soothe them. The patch on my right calf too. Its like open and raw. FML.
Praying for good healing.