Day 942 – 2.5yrs – Miserable

Face is still flaring. And raw. It sucks that i was making progress 3 days ago and since then, it went down hill again because it has been raining and seems its gonna continue raining for the next few days.

ARGH! I feel miserable. Not gonna deny it. Maybe its my hormones. I DO kinda feel i am able to face plant into emo-ness.

F- ahhh. Im miserable about my face. 2 more weeks til i have? to go back to work..

  • Status of skin:
  • Face
    • cheeks, eyelids, chin area, area around lips – red and raw. And oozy.
    • Forehead area slightly reddish
  • Neck
    • Terrible itch and fragile
  • Arms
    • top of palm patch of kinda redish and itch
    • Right arm inside elbow – reddish but healthy patch. Itchy.
    • Left arm – patches of scabby red.
  • Legs
    • Rough patches of itch on thighs and calves
  • Thighs
    • Red spots

Seriously , i do wonder if im having some blood bacterial infection :S All the spots on my thighs.

AND I HATE THAT I KEEP RUBBING MY EYELIDS RAW AT NIGHT. I know i shudnt. But i cant help it. It feels like it needs to exfoliate some scabs 😦 My sister suggest i wear those round plastic cup thingo that people who undergo eye surgery wear. :S How am i gonna wear it when i haz no healthy skin to tape it to.. sigh

My sleep is terrible. I GET ANXIETY AGAIN WHEN ITS NIGHT TIME. I cant sleep. I think my adrenals are hit again. I get into bed at 12 midnight and flip my f til 4am(if im lucky) or 6am when i can finally sleep. Sometimes its after f- sunrise. And at 9am when its perfect to wake, im sleepy and am tempted to sleep another 3hours for improved sanity. Or i overslept and wake at 3pm, half the day gone, and feel emo about it.

When i wake everyday, i gotta shower my f cus my face feels oozy crusty and i feel terrible. Then i procrastinate because im afraid of the pain on my raw neck and arms and face. Sucks.

I just went to see the tcm today, and he changed herbs. Its a small joy because i bought 2 cups of koi bubble tea (green tea with pearl & aloe vera). Also went to buy blueberry dayplus bread.. some biscuits.. and gardenia raisin bread. I feel terrible with nothing to eat when im hungry. So far i have been eating breakfast chicken rice at 3pm and dinner at 7.30pm. Totally screwed up ikr.

Last week i took anti histamines every other day to try to sleep. Somehow i feel terrible and didnt take any this week. I kinda hate it when i wake up at 3pm becus of the extended effects. Waking at 3pm makes me emo. Its like the day is gone and WTF ITS TIME TO SLEEP AGAIN. AND I CANT SLEEP. ikr.

Also i realise im especially jumpy recently. All the excess anxiety… Is excess histamines the problem? I have been taking more than 2000mg of vitamin C daily.. Been trying to take 1 every hour before 7pm when i remember..

Dear god, all these that happens to me.. What are u trying to tell me?

Alittle emo today. Take it one step at a time Jo!