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Day 588 -1yr 7mths -Why?

Havent been feeling the best lately. I wonder if its because of the hormone madness during my period. Was feeling abit blue over the past few days. Its been more than 1 yr since im not working fulltime in the accounting line. This is definitely nagging at the back of my brain.

Why havent i went back to work? Cos of my face. I have a patch on my left cheek and my right cheek is getting worse -_- and my right ear is also getting worse. that patch has been there since the start of the year? -_- IT JUST HASNT HEALED. WHY?

WHY? Even when im eating conservatively and miserably vegetarian (no egg/milk) as much as possible -_-

Why aint i healing by leaps and bounds on a vegan diet?

Okay calm down Jo.

Things to be grateful for today:

  • Work place has airconditioning (It was darn hot the past few days)
  • fingers dont need micropore taping today (YAS!)
  • Ears are not TERRIBLY oozy today
  • Right arm can be off micropore tape
  • Left arm isnt paper thin fragile
  • Legs are manageable
  • Sleep has been sane enough
  • I can still pay for half my expenses

 

Maybe i need to seriously think about sleeping early. I have been sleeping past midnight lately. I hate waking up and i hate getting to bed. dam ~_~

When will i be able to resume my sustainable life? To earn enough for daily expenses and saving and spending… and travel? When will i be able to earn enough…….

What i ate:

Yesterday(sunday): green/mung bean soup with sweet potatoes, fried rice, rice with veg, some coffee cookies, coffee

Saturday: fish dumping with dry meepok noodles, yuzu bread from Johan, port egg tart, matcha latte from starbucks, chicken aglio olio (spicy AF)

Today: Rice with veg, cabbage and cauliflower, and a small lotus biscuit

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Day 584 -1yr 7mths+ – Why is the ear oozing again?

Things were actually quite good, considering my fingers could go micropore tape free. Then my period came. Switched medicine and today my right ear was oozing abit more again.WHY?! Y U DO DIS TO MI?

Last night was okay-ish. I was scratching my palm abit (those vesicles again) BUT the damage isnt quite big. It dried up abit when i woke up (THANKFULLY! OH GOD!) skin near my little finger is fragile but manageable. Abit of moisturiser makes it bearable. Thank god it isnt oozing or super raw.

Today after lunch i went to buy fruits to eat. Im kinda full from the pack of rice but just felt like eating something sweet or additional. Bad habit IKR! So i bought 2 pieces of fruit.

Also yesterday i went to the supermarket and bought a packet of organic green/mung beans(cheaper non organic sold out šŸ˜¦ ). I need some veg protein if im gonna cut down on animal protein!

Also bought a pack of white bread. I was hesitating at the bread isle for SO LONG. Wheat whole meal or white? In the end i bought white thick slices. Had a craving for garlic bread. Im gonna GARLIC the shit outta the white bread tonight.

My mum was like “Did you buy this loaf of white bread?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you cant eat it?”

“I was planning to make garlic bread……”

“Oh garlic bread is nice. Dont they come frozen and on baguettes?”

“Those are expensive. Im just gonna press the garlic and apply it on the bread to bake”

What i ate today:

Brunch: Rice with long beans, bean sprouts and xiao bai cai? And thin slice of crunchy orange melon? and slice of watermelon

Yesterday:

Brunch: Aglio olio pasta with fried honey garlic chicken @ pastamania. And matcha latte with pearls.

Dinner: Rice with tumeric, dash of black pepper, and xiao bai cai green veg. and Coffee biscuits and Diva apple from NZ

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Day 581 – alittle break for hands

Im so happy my fingers are healing and taking a break 

its been like awhile since my fingers could survive no bandages/micropore tape. Healing started about 5 days after the switch to “balanced tcm formula”

Sleep quality: sane enough but can feel that im grinding teeth and scratching flipping around at night

Ankles: still quite red and raw. Been using a wash given by tcm. It has a molted snake skin? In the concoction :S when he said theres snake skin, i was like WHAT? 

What i ate today: 

Brunch: four fingers bff garlic soy burger with seaweed fries and papaya

Yesterday: 

Chicken rice, papaya, rice with sweet sour pork and veg

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Day 563 – 1 yr 6mths+ – Annoying oozy ear

I am so annoyed by my oozing ear. Where exactly is oozing? The top tip of my ear that contacts my hair and temples of my spectacles. It oozes then crust on my hair and spectacles. Very uncomfortable. It feels like something is gelling there and everytime my ears or something moves, i feel something is stuck and am so tempted to rub off the crusty ooze or something.

TCM isnt really helping that patch imho.

And i have another bad patch outside the ear hole. Its been oozy and red for ages! TF. Since dec 2015! When is it gonna heal?!

DietĀ 

I am at a point in time where i can easily filter out meat and not feel super devastated about the decision. I think its been more than a week of no/few meat cravings. I think it really takes time (2 to 3 weeks) to reach this state where you no longer crave something. I think its the same with sugar. After 2 to 3 weeks, the cravings get less intense and stops.

But am i seeing results from eating a largely vegan diet? Yesterday there was the YUMMY DELICIOUS canned spicy pork cubes for dinner. I ate 1 small little cube with brocolli and tumeric pepper radish rice soup. I consider it an achievement that i didnt eat more of it. I LOVE THAT DANG PORK CUBES. One of the meat things i crave is another of 4finger’s BFF Soy burger.

On eating vegetarian food initially earlier i kinda notice my inflammation on face is lower. The cheek patch. Yes now its gradually getting smaller (i think. Probably. I didnt take pictures because. BECAUSE MY DAM FACE IS OOZING! depressing much) I kinda regret that i didnt take, so i didnt have a reference point. But i think its smaller. I think so. Now it looks abit like a right angle boomerang.

But seems the reddish and stuff on my hands/fingers and palm is getting worse. Sigh. Is vegetarian food not helping? My right index finger is raw AF. So is my right thumb. Today my left hand and fingers is slightly better. But seems the condition of my fingers and palm is one step front, one step back. Kinda like tango. Up and down. So it makes me wonder if i should go back to eating meat. :S

Oozy patch on cheeks & stares

Am i also more resistant to people’s stares now? Yes. When people look at me for more than 1 second, I know they are starring at my cheek. Any longer, or they make eye contact with me and the cheek again, i give them the “TF U STARING AT?” look and go ahead to ignore them. Not worth getting stress hormones over people i dont give a dam about!

Things to be happy about currently:

GOOD SLEEP. Good sleep is golden and necessary for sanity.

What i ate yesterday:

lunch: Mcdonalds large fries + rice with cabbage,Ā beansproutĀ and long bean

snacks: slices of papaya

dinner: rice with tumeric, black pepper, brocolli and small piece of canned spicy pork cube

What i ate today:

lunch: rice with long bean, cauliflower and cai xin?