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Day 102 – be calm

what i ate today:

Breakfast: glutinous rice with chicken

Lunch: chicken with green veg and papaya. And lemon ginger tea. Found the pumpkin rice had some shrimps in it so i totally skipped rice

Dinner: steamed fish, veg, some bites of pork ribs cooked in watercress soup and 2 spoonfuls of rice?

Skin:

Woke up late today and had to spend on a cab to work, dam! My left arm is not burning as much as yesterday. 🙂 and alittle less swollen 🙂 i can say the red sleeves on my left arm is pretty even now. And my right arm is.. Spotty. Alittle worried abt infection on my arm. Been spraying 50-50acvwaterteatreeoil on it after scratching(imagine the sting!)

My neck is burning madly today. I suspect due to sweating irritations at night. Sleep is erratic. I kept waking up. I actually woke up 10mins before the alarm rang but went back to sleep! And was late! 

I had a mini scratch fest in the shower ack. My left calves insides were the victims. Also scratched my arms in the evenings while shopping. Ack. Also scratched my wrists :X  

   

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Day 101 – no humanity left

So i said that i was gonna resign and submitted my resignation letter today. I thought i had the right to clear my leave and shorten my notice period but no! They decided i must serve 1 month of notice and that im probably not allowed to clear any annual leave left. It made Jo totally sad. Not sure if i can stand another round of stress. Not sure if my skin will make it. i felt like there was no humanity left in my manager. I felt that she thinks i deserved my current condition. Oh wells. There is totally nothing left in me to do good work for the company. Good riddance to working for such bosses. Cheer up Jo!

What i ate today:

Breakfast: glutinous rice with chicken (this has like became my staple)

Lunch: rice with spicy chicken and fried fish fillet

Dinner: rice with melon soup and brocolli

It seems my right elbow insides is reducing in redness. My left arm is still swelling abit and flaking like mad. 

My legs… I hope the redness is subsiding in the inner calves.  

 

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Day 100 – bravery

Today’s a work day. 

Kinda stressed today becos, im having a hard time deciding when to quit. And asking HR for information. Becos my company paid out a bonus in Jan, i have to payback if i left during the year. Wells. Yep. But congrats Jo! I finally told my manager that im quitting. After a teary session. 

I can feel my left ear and neck burning away while at work.

And my left arm is swollen. Possibly becos i scratched it hard last night. Look at the pics below, see the scratch marks?? After shower, i totally drenched my left arm in 50-50acv spray(with tea tree oil) . I hope im not getting an infection on my left arm! Its burning i feel. And swelling 😦 

What i ate yesterday:

Breakfast: glutinous rice with chicken

Lunch: roasted chicken leg with sauce? And some coleslaw

Dinner: subway’s italian bmt wrap with cucumbers, lettuce and honey mustard 

I was soaking my legs in acv/dss tonight after afew days of no soak. Saw a large patch of skin floating on the bad patch on left leg. The whole patch is floating.. So i went ahead to pull it off with abit of strength. Not sure if i did the right thing :S the patch is now raw.

I applied a thick layer of vaseline on the raw patch, put a sheet of tissue on it, towelled up and went to sleep. 

I was  talking to my sister too, i told her last night i scratched my arms raw during the night. She asked why i didnt towel wrap my arms. I said i did but it fell off. She suggested to wear the arm socks. What a fantastic idea! So this is my new way to sleep:

 

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Day 99 – Be brave

woke up around 12 noon but lazed in bed til 3pm. Found my mum bought me fish soup from the coffee shop downstairs. Im grateful but i’ve always been suspicious about the soup base(did they use weird ingredients or prawn which in allergic to?) cried alittle. I think it must be the hormones :S

My arms are so dry and flakey now. I hope its on its way to healing. My wrist is healing good. I hope i dont scratch it raw again 🙂 my fingers which i vaseline wrapped is healing good 🙂 my palm is still thin and fragile.

I noticed the insides of my calves are calming abit *happy* but it still looks patchy. I hope they clear up nice and good! 

My left leg is oozy and bad. Nothing to add.. 

My thighs… Right thigh is starting to flake. All the red patches are now dry and flakey. My left thigh.. Spreading alittle? I hope it stops spreading..

After i get out of the bath, i scratched so much! Kept telling myself not to scratch and this post shower itch will be over soon. But i still scratched my right arm. Sprayed apple cider/water/tea tree mix on it. Gosh, how it burned. 

Now i understand whats the “burn” that tsw talks about.. It just radiates heat. I felt this burn, the most in my left cheek and left ear. Dam… 

What i ate today:

Breakfast/lunch: soup cooked fish fillet from downstairs and small organic apple

Dinner: roasted chicken rice

I need to eat more proteins =w= 

   
 

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Random – things that get me through

Just a random post on things that will give me hope again. There is many times during TSW that we will need some kind of hope and happiness.

Before TSW, i have been reading much about happiness and stuff. Why? I didnt really know what to do in life. I felt my accounting job is not what i am “passionate” about. 

Being grateful is one way to feel happier.

And i want to be grateful for having these:

  • I have tissue paper ready to wipe my tears
  • I have an ipad mini to keep me entertained
  • I have acess to the internet and ITSAN.
  • There are people who went through TSW hell and survived it and blogged their progress to motivate us. 🙂 *HANG IN THERE JO, YOU TOO WILL MAKE IT!*

Okay, back to surfing the web.

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Day 98 – talk with mum

Yesterday i drank some coffee and took atarax to sleep. Not becos i was itching like mad after the workshop, but that i really wanted a good night’s sleep and desperate for some healing to take place.

It was kinda hard to sleep. My left ear is like so red and burning and oozing. Hair keeps getting stuck on it. My right ear is better but not THAT bad. 

Neck is horrible… Crusty…its hard to sleep and later be irritated by the sweat..

Fingers. Yesterday night i bandaged my right index finger with vaseline. Looking good today. 🙂 I also vaseline bandaged my left middle finger, looks good too! 🙂

Arms.. I bandaged my wrists to prevent night time scratching. This morning the bandages are intact. 🙂 good! Im dying to report some healing on my elbow insides, unfortunately that arent showing much healing

Legs.. Good that i didnt (or rather forgot) if i did scratch them at night. 🙂

I woke up around 5.30pm, when i cant take my weepy left ear anymore.. And becos if i continue to sleep, my body clock will get so screwed and i cant wake for monday’s work?

Mum

My mum came in. She saw my (almost) full body flares, on my arms and legs, she was in sucha shock! She kept telling me to see a doctor. I told her the doctor will just ask me to apply steroids again, which i dont want. I told her my condition is not the worse yet. Then i quickly pulled Juliana’s blog to show her TSW symptoms and stuff, about how full body flares looked like, and that im not even there yet. She was worried. I hated to see that on her face. Its always an emotional moment for me to talk about my skin. I told her in this period, we just got to wait afew mths for the healing to start. In the meantime i could only rest and sleep. She asked if i have resigned from work. She said i should just resign and rest until im better. Im kinda relief to hear it. Although, i know anyhow, i will do just that. What really bothers and hurts me is my parents being so panicky about me and keep nagging for me to see a doctor(and reverse my progress). Sometimes i hope they will just cheer me on and tell me im okay. Or if they have nothing to add, just shutup and pretend im good. That will like lessen my stress.

   
 

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Day 97 – coffee in a long while…

today, after work, im actually gonna attend a coffee latte art class ~_~ i have quit coffee for quite a few mths now, not sure what the reaction will be. Im already in a bad flare. Sigh.

Skin:

Hands(palm/fingers): dry. Not oozing much except some raw patches on fingers. My palm is dry n fragile. 

Arm: insides of elbows are horrible. Utterly very red and dry. And i think at night i unconsciously scratched them good.

Ears: started turning red and dry. Flakey maybe and alittle oozy? My left ear especially. The area which ear lobe joins the head is SO very red. 

So at the workshop, i drank a cup of cafe latte and afew sips of coffee and another shot of expresso. I hope i dont get a mega flare.

I took atarax to sleep too. Woke up at 12noon, then napped abit more to about 4-5pm. Then finally peeled myself outta bed. 

What i ate:

Breakfast: glutinous rice with chicken

Lunch: veg, fried fish fillet and chicken?

Dinner: chicken porridge 

Some coffee and latte art i did at the workshop